On election night I took an edible, had sex with my husband (sorry kids), and was in bed by 10 pm in an effort to avoid the election stress. This should demonstrate without any doubt, the depths I reached in order to keep the television off in our household on Nov 3rd. The day after the election I was glued to the TV with sweaty palms and a racing heart. Days two and three after the election, I regained control with some focused meditation and successfully distracted myself with mindless tasks (no more fornication, much to Blake’s dismay). The political scientists were correct, the vote count took a while (isn’t science amazing?) And it should have, thank goodness for every person who voted by mail or absentee to reduce the spread of the virus. We are all grateful for the respect you showed others, and the extra care you took to protect yourself. BRAVO. I have the utmost respect for those devoted election officials, I can only imagine the pressure they felt to reveal a legitimate result in a timely fashion while their integrity was constantly being questioned and their counties sued.
Saturday morning, I woke up at 3:30 am, not because of election anxiety but a hormonal malfunction. I proceeded to make the unrecoverable error of drinking a level-8 caffeinated Nespresso around 10 am which sent me into a Tasmanian devil like manic frenzy. Later, I couldn’t sit still and went out to walk the dogs. As I trudged along the roads with my head hung low, canines dangling from leashes as they trotted down the damp streets, I heard car horns honking in the distance. These were short happy honks, not a long, angry NY taxi honk. My head shot up when I saw a mountain biker riding his bike down the road yelling “Whoopee!” at the top of his lungs with a huge smile on his face. My heart started racing, this must signify a result, but which one? This is Utah after all. I quickly texted my friends and family to find out what happened. At the first confirmation of a Biden projected win, tears filled my eyes and I took several deep breaths. My shoulders, which have been permanently lifted up to my ears for almost four years, slowly began to sink back down to their pre-Trump levels. I felt joy, relief, and finally, a sense of calm as I mouthed thank you over and over again to all the voters that persevered through a pandemic to make their voices heard. I wanted to run and jump in the streets and hug my friends. My heart swelled as I watched people all over the country fill the city streets with the same elation that I felt, I read tweets and texts from other world leaders congratulating Biden/Harris and their eagerness to work with the new administration. I later watched the first female Vice President make a beautiful speech, and the stage filled with men, women, and children of different races and backgrounds come together to celebrate their victory. I felt so lucky to be witnessing this historic moment. I collapsed into bed at 9 pm, completely spent from so many emotions. All was right, or at least slightly better in the world again.
At least for me.
And maybe slightly more than half of my compatriots. I can remember how I felt four years ago….and it wasn’t pretty, so I can relate to the other half of the country and what they might be going through.
In 2016, I sat noisily sobbing, by myself, gaping at the television in the worn leather armchair of a rented condo while our house was being remodeled. Tears streamed down my face, and snot fell out of my nose as I watched Hilary concede. She was not conceding to another experienced, proven politician that I could perhaps tolerate, but a bully of a “business” man, with the bottom feeder character of a reality TV star. I walked around in a state of disbelief knowing that my fellow Americans, my friends, and members of my extended family, had trusted the fate of our democracy and our country to this deranged megalomaniac. My shock and anger culminated a few days later (among other things) in a heated debate on Facebook about gun control with someone from high school that I barely knew. As my blood boiled and my heart rate soared, I thought, what in the hell am I doing fighting with Jimmy Schmittberger on social media? I have never in my life been this passionate about politics, the only things that would bring me to tears was my love for my children, a family death, or a sappy romance, not a goddamned orange-haired buffoon posing as a change agent. How did I get here? Is it the omnipresent 24-hour cable news networks? The unregulated variety of social media platforms beings exploited by foreign nations? Or was my Tethered Soul coming up against an uncomfortable wall that I was unwilling to break down?
I was a political science major in college, mostly because it was interesting to me and the Professors were among the best at the school. I wrote my thesis on the decline of partisanship since the Nixon administration. I also wrote a campaign plan for Joe Biden in 1988 for a final project in my campaign finance class. I worked for CBS News in New York doing election coverage when Dan Rather was the anchor. I used to enjoy politics: the philosophy, the history, the debate. My parents and grandparents and many close relatives were Republicans (some still are). There have been some elections where I have voted republican, others democratic, and sometimes not at all (Sorry Mrs. Garrett). In the past, even if my guy or girl didn’t win, I didn’t worry about the entire state of my country, and our place in the world. I trusted that the elected candidate would do his job and protect us, keep us together, and make laws that benefit those that need them. I slept well at night knowing that the person in charge -who was making decisions for over 300 million people - was educated, honest, thoughtful, deliberate, fair, and filled his cabinet with those same types of leaders. My US History teacher, Mrs. Garrett, never prepared us for the likes of a person who didn’t take the time to understand the constitution while holding the highest office in the land. She would have agreed with RBG, I think, that the incumbent is a faker of the highest degree. I can almost hear her saying it in her raspy admonishing voice, the same one she used to shame us when we didn’t know the historical details of the lesson that day. Her head would have exploded at the thought of a Kanye write-in option. Through all of the years before 2016, I was never an activist or marched in a protest; I never lost much sleep over politics because I had trust in the system. In my wildest dreams, I did not foresee my presidential options being a narcissistic sociopath, a bi-polar rapper, or a 78-year-old man that may experience dementia before the end of his term.
While I am not ashamed to say that I am grateful that Biden won, I am not gloating. The only thing I think we can safely agree on is that our country is completely divided. Friends, family, even my book club -which is comprised of 11 upper middle class, highly educated white women who have been friends for over 10 years - cannot have a civilized conversation about the issues facing our nation. Issues that, in my mind at least, are not about Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal. Notably - human rights, equality, saving the planet, affordable healthcare and higher education that is accessible to all citizens.
I don’t believe that the two-party system is cutting it anymore. Republicans used to stand for smaller government, lower deficits, less spending, and represented upper crust society. The Democrats used to be champions for the poor and underprivileged, they could count on support from union workers and the middle class. Now Republicans are currying favor with blue collar workers, and Democrats are seen as snooty intellectual elites. I’m confused about who stands for what, and why individuals support the parties that they do. Many of us are being forced into a party that doesn’t wholeheartedly reflect our beliefs.
On one side we have the Progressives – the dictionary defines progressive as:
modern, liberal, advanced, forward-looking, forward-thinking, go ahead, enlightened, enterprising, innovative, up-and-coming, new, dynamic, avant-garde, modernistic, disruptive; radical, left-wing, reforming, reformist, revolutionary, revisionist, progressivist.
And on the other, we have Conservatives – defined as follows:
traditional, conventional, orthodox, stable, old-fashioned, dyed-in-the-wool, unchanging, hidebound; cautious, prudent, careful, safe, timid, unadventurous, unenterprising, set in one's ways; moderate, middle-of-the-road, temperate;
Neither of these words are bad and Ideally, we would like someone with a mixture of these qualities to be running our country, as I think many of us possess a balance of these traits. Wouldn’t it be great if our leader was stable and cautious but also enlightened and enterprising? Might he or she be careful yet innovative in how they look to reform things? For example, instead of repealing the Affordable Care Act and introducing a completely different plan with some other politician’s name on it, or taking years to challenge its legality, why can’t we use it as starting point and fix what is wrong to make it better?
I am straight, I don’t own a gun, I am white, I was born in the USA, I have never been arrested, I haven’t had COVID and don’t personally know anyone who has died from it. That doesn’t mean that I can pretend these problems don’t exist or try to suppress my empathy for those that are struggling as a result of their skin color, sexual orientation, ailing health, or socioeconomic status. If I were strictly voting in my own self-interest, with an emphasis on fiscal concerns, I should have voted for Trump. Because I am inextricably linked to others, I must think of them as well. I view the world through the lens of my own experiences, but I also use a wide-angle lens that captures what other humans are going through before I cast my ballot. Even if our pocketbooks are fat, our inheritance tax is low, and stocks are flying, at the end of the day, if human beings in our country are suffering and not being treated or paid equally, then we all will suffer. If our planet is slowly dying, we will all die. We will end up paying for the accumulated distress, whether it be with our wallet, our freedoms, or something greater.
I call on President Elect Biden, Vice President Harris, and all the members of our congress and senate at state and federal levels to work together and be creative with bi-partisan solutions to human problems. I hope that large and small corporations, and their investors, can look less at short term gains and think more strategically about long term intentions and consequences to our population and our planet. And for all of us to play our part within our own localities to reach across the divide with empathy, tolerance, and a common goal of making America the best country it can be for everyone.
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