I wish I could say this has been a great journey, full of
learning experiences, personal development and increased knowledge. I would categorize it more like a really
long road trip, with bad snacks, shitty gas mileage, and lots of traffic. And you’re just in the car driving, sometimes
madly, other times with trepidation, and you don’t really know where you might
end up. It could be Chicago, Vermont,
Rhode Island, or Massachusetts (if you are lucky). When you look at the traffic report you
receive conflicting information from different apps. When should you turn? Did you go the wrong way?
Enough with the driving metaphor… I think you get it.
I don’t claim to have any insight into the admissions
process and most people don’t which is what makes it all the more
frustrating. In a world where we are
used to having immediate gratification and access to information at all times,
being in a state of ambiguity is novel and nerve racking to say the least. The student
controls the information he provides, the story he tells, the “catch” he comes
up with, and hopes for the best. Then comes the 4-5 month waiting game while
his inventory of carefully cultivated, amazing personal attributes is passed
around like a hot potato among a group of admissions officers, until one of
them plucks his application out of relative obscurity and gives creed to his
abilities.
Or not.
Back in the day, we had to think and long and hard about
where to apply because we had to manually complete each application. 10 schools?
Yikes, my hand might be broken by then.
With the onset of the online common application in 1998, you type all of
the information in one time, online and submit it to as many institutions as you
can afford (at $75/each this is not insignificant but when anticipating a
yearly bill of $60K, $75 seems like pocket change). This has resulted in colleges increasing
their applications steadily to over twice the amount they’ve had in the
past. This is a great source of revenue
and colleges market to any and everyone to apply. At the Harvard information session, the
counselor deceptively brags, “anyone can go to Harvard”. Many
colleges boast over 30,000 applications for 2,000 spots. Let’s say on the upside the college has 10
admissions officers working for 5 months to read each one. That is 30 applications per person per day,
every day. The attached graph shows how
applications have grown at one institution of higher learning, while the number of accepted and matriculated students
remains around the same. Consequently,
the acceptance rate has been cut in half for many colleges and universities, making it important to stand out as much as possible.
Two years ago, the buzzword was “passion”. Make sure your kid has devoted himself to one
thing passionately throughout high school.
The college doesn’t want to see a bunch of random stuff on a resume just
to fill the page, admissions wants to see dedication and commitment. I’m 48 years old and I still haven’t
identified my passion. Why should
someone be forced to focus on one thing, especially when he/she is a teenager? This is the time to explore, try new things,
and make mistakes - not achieve
perfection in one sport, or creative pursuit.
When else in your life will you be able to take a pottery class, play on
the volleyball team, or try out for the school play?
This year the recommendation was as follows: be a good
student, be a great athlete, and be interesting. And if you aren’t a great athlete, you need
to double down on the interesting part.
If you are a great athlete, and I mean the best kid on your team or in
your individual pursuit, you will probably get recruited (topic for a whole other
blog). Which makes the road trip
slightly less stressful because at least a coach is guiding you along – kind of
like a police escort through the traffic.
But if you are just a decent athlete, you have to volunteer your ass
off, work at a paying job, be on student council, and create a charity event
that somehow garners national media coverage.
And don’t forget to maintain a 4.0 GPA and take as many AP classes as
inhumanly possible (even though most colleges will not give you credit for
them). Easy peasy. Many of these applicants have done more in
their 18 years than I’ve done in my whole life!
But then again, I guess I’m not very interesting…
My initial philosophy with my first child (obviously the
guinea pig in this situation) was to not mention college selection until Junior
Year of high school. Let him enjoy his
youth, play multiple sports if possible, and not be stressed while still
maintaining some level of academic prowess.
Being on the brink of the application deadline, I’m not sure this was
the right path.
We consistently oscillate between reviewing long lists of
“to-do” items such as studying for the SAT subject tests, and backing off, pouring
a vodka and consoling ourselves by acknowledging that he will be fine wherever
he ends up. The education is all the same,
and for the most part, the $60K/year price tag is the same. It does seem a tad suspicious that all of the
schools have congregated around this number.
Out of state university, private college, large or small --$60K is the
magic number. Can you say price
fixing???
At the end of the day, I must revert to an article by
Michelle Gillman called “Harvard Schmarvard”, which summed up the crazy
competitive nature of the admission game.
Forget about ACT scores, GPA’s and the endless list of extracurricular
activities and ask yourself the following questions:
Does your child have a compassionate soul?
Does your child have a
healthy dose of intellectual curiosity?
Is your child resourceful
and independent?
Is your child happy with who
she is?
Can your child creatively
problem-solve?
Is your child passionate
about anything?
Can your child sit with
himself and enjoy his own company?
Ah, he will be fine.
As long as he gets a 750 on the SAT Physics Subject test, finishes his
honors English paper, and…..
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