I’ve received mixed feedback regarding my “crush” on Josh
Radnor. Some people expressed concern
that my husband might feel offended or threatened. Evidently, these people have not been acquainted with the infamous Mr. Henderson who does not have an unconfident or jealous bone in his body. Others have said, “Josh Radnor? Really?
He isn’t even that buff”. I
married cute and athletic, which allows me to fantasize about witty and
creative. And finally, “Aren’t you a
little old and married to be having crushes?”
In fact, it is because I am old and married that makes the crush (and/or
a moderately active fantasy life) all the more vital to my existence.
Of course, my life is happy.
I have a loving husband who is only here on the weekends; I have smart,
healthy, active kids, a nice house, a fluffy dog, etc. All part of the domestic dream that I never
really had, but seem to have fallen into.
That doesn’t preclude me from dreaming about the “what if” scenario. What if I hadn’t gotten married and
multiplied myself? What if I had stayed
in Manhattan? What if I had taken the
leap in another direction? Maybe the
grass wouldn’t be greener (actually it would be mostly pavement, but I also
wouldn’t have to aerate, fertilize and mow), but it would be different.
Having a crush or fantasy is a healthy way to satisfy the
many interests and lifestyles that I could have had, without causing any real
damage to my current life. In fact, a
well-managed fantasy world can actually enhance certain carnal aspects of one's life.
Currently I’m working on my third crush this year. My first started last summer with gallant
Jamie Fraser from the Outlander series. For those of you who haven’t read the book
(or all seven 1,000 page books to be exact), Jamie is the Scottish warrior who
is tall, muscular, copper-haired, smart, sexy, adventurous, respectful,
multi-linguistic and full of honor. He is
also a savvy businessman, and an attentive lover with endless endurance who
wears a kilt and goes mostly commando.
What’s not to love? But Jamie is
in love with Claire, a woman 5 years his senior who travels through time and
meets him in the past (it sounds really silly when I describe it, but trust me,
these books are addictive). Of course
there is a dark side to Jamie that Claire must help to unravel, but his flaw
only makes him more attractive.
I stayed up literally all night reading over my vacation
last summer to finish the first book. It was riveting. I managed to squeeze in another 3 books over
the next few months, but had to stop my obsession as it started to interfere
with other commitments (such as sleep and parenting).
I am not alone with my passion for Jamie Fraser; I have friends (you
know who you are) who have read 4-5 of the books. And imagine my surprise when I visited my
Grandma last December and saw the 7th book in the series sitting
blatantly on her coffee table.
“Grammie!” I exclaimed. “I’ve
read all of them,” she proudly revealed.
In case it is not clear, there is a lot of sex in these books – but to
my point, even 92 year-old women can still dream. Jamie fulfills the fantasy of the old-world
masculine type who will rescue you from any unforeseen circumstance, but also
respects your mind as much as your body.
And this is a fantasy because MEN LIKE THIS DON’T EXIST IN REAL LIFE
(fantasy: an idea with no basis in reality).
As long as we all agree that this
fantasy is going nowhere, it is safe.
Next, I moved on to Josh – who I saw briefly at Sundance in
January of this year. His hip, witty
manner and heart-warming romantic movie won me over and pushed Jamie back to
the 18th century Scottish Highlands.
Josh fulfills the part of me that wants an intelligent, artsy New Yorker
in my life. To be young, living in a
vibrant city and having titillating conversations on a daily basis was an ideal
that I once envisioned for myself. Josh
is also safe, for the chances of him leaving Hollywood and finding me in Podunk
Park City are slimmer than getting hit by lightning (fantasy: imagining things
that are impossible or improbable). My
Fantasies about Josh are already well documented in the previous blog “My Dream
Day”, so I don’t need to go into further detail.
Most recently, I am infatuated with another fictional
character, Christian Grey, from the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. Obviously these books are not winning any
literary accolades, but 9 out of 10 housewives are greedily consuming them
across the country (well - perhaps not in the bible belt – or anyone who voted
for Santorum in the primary). Christian,
oddly enough, shares some of Jamie Fraser’s traits -- he has tousled copper locks,
he is muscular and tall and is an inexhaustible lover; however, instead of the
kilt, he favors linen shirts with the first two buttons open, and faded jeans. Christian is 27, staggeringly wealthy,
unbelievably sexy, intelligent, flies his own helicopter, showers his lover
with extravagant gifts, and has sculpted lips.
Christian, we find out, has a VERY DARK SIDE, and he needs a woman to
show him the light. Mr. Grey fulfills
the fantasy of “we can rebuild him, make him stronger and better” like the $6
million dollar man. All women think they
can change a man if they could just get their hands on him for long enough. (fantasy:
a fanciful mental image, typically one in which a person dwells at length or
repeatedly and which reflects their conscious or unconscious wishes) Sadly, I’m already half way through the
second book in the trilogy and I only started them 4 days ago. And because Christian’s secret is REALLY DARK,
I don’t think they will be making the books into a movie series anytime
soon. Christian will be far more fleeting for
fantasy material than Jamie Fraser, but that is probably for the better. I need to concentrate on more intellectual
pursuits anyway (shirts, shirts for sale, only $109 per shirt!).
For the record, I did have a wonderful crush on my husband
in college. He had floppy blond hair and great blue eyes, played three sports, drove a Jetta, and was always surrounded by friends. I followed him around for
weeks, trying to eat at the same starch filled cafeteria that he did, go to the
same beer pong frat parties that he attended.
Then one day several months in the future, we wound up in the same Political
Science class. He sat near me and asked
me the time, and I noted that he was wearing a watch. The rest, as they say, is romantic
history. Sometime later, we consummated our relationship
on the floor of my dorm room, lived apart, lived together, got married, had two
kids and have spent the last 25 years together. Which sounds like a really, really, really
long time. But with an innocent crush
here and a fictional character fantasy there, it seems like it was just yesterday….
 |
| Hmmm, is this Jamie or Christian??? Who cares. |
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